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The current period represents a full decade since the word “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could suddenly stop communication with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the peak of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more confounding – an frequently unsuccessful pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online lingo.

Gen Z, a generation who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted assault on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a detailed glossary to the words this generation is using to talk about love, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ideal is showing up as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A social media test inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reaction is engaged or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while oozing mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies seeking out someone who helps you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people bond while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do low-cost dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: utilizing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal quirks suggesting a potential partner is not right. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions confirm your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, mostly benign quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that immediately extinguish any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {